Live and Let Diaper

Wholly Off-Topic: Starburns

Mailbag for April 12, 2010

TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I’m Noah! This summer my wife and I are having twins. You know, I heard the theme music I use for TwinDadBlog in a Pepsi Commercial. Dear PepsiCo, you are a multi-billion dollar corporation, you don’t have to use free, public domain music lifted from Garage Band. Even if it does sound as cool as this.

Hey, it’s mailbag time! These are from emails and Facebook messages I’ve gotten from friends, most of whom had no idea I would be using their names and comments in this forum. Um … thanks!

Jason, a friend of mine from Alabama writes
“I gotta give it to you. TwinDadBlog is not that bad.” –Jason

Thanks Jason. I have to give it to you. Not everyone from Alabama is an inbred donkey lover.

XXXXXX of San Diego California asks
If the twins had fetal super powers, what would they be?

Okay, now I’m trying to think of superpowers a fetus could have that wouldn’t prove incredibly detrimental to their mother’s health … for example, adamantium claws would be right out.

Bobby Rodgers writes
"congrats daddy-o."

I just like this one because ever since I’ve known Bobby I always thought his name sounded like a 1950s teen idol and him calling me “daddy-o” just adds to that. So, thanks Bobby, I think you’re the bee’s knees, too.

XXXXX of San Diego, CA writes
Will you do a vblog in the hospital during delivery? But in the current style, where neither Amanda nor twins are allowed near the camera?

Yes, that’s my plan, to be off in some other corner of the hospital with Amanda’s MacBook, making a sardonic video blog entry, while she’s screaming in pain from her latest contraction.


Mr. Richard Feder of Fort Lee, NJ writes,
Now that you have a beard, how can we tell the difference between you and your evil twin Haon from the Evil Twin video?

What an utterly preposterous question.

XXXXX of San Diego, CA writes
Are you going to be one of those embarrassing dads that go around the house naked?

XXXX, I would prefer it if you spent less time thinking about me naked.


I’m going to have to put this next one, from Emily Wilson, on the screen.

"holy %^&*! Congratulations!"

Thanks Emily, though I’m uncertain if you said percentage sign, caret, ampersand, asterisk exclamation point, or if you said percentage sign, caret, ampersand, asterisk and then punctuated it with an exclamation point. Either way, please keep this kind of filthy language off my number sign, asterisk, at symbol, ampersanding blog.

XXXXXXX of San Diego, CA writes
Are you ready for two daughters? Like, really?? The mere idea of one daughter becoming a teenager and then going to college would freak me out!

I met XXXX when Amanda and I were working with college students on a program called Semester at Sea. Israel organized a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture show and convinced a number of the female students to dress up in lingerie for the event. So my answer is, I think I’ll be fine if I have daughters and they go off to college as long as they stay away from people like XXXXXX of San Diego, CA.

And finally, Eric Keenan-Gray posted a quote from an Anonymous author:

"Two faces to wash, and four dirty hands
Two insistent voices, making demands
Twice as much crying, when things go wrong
The four eyes closing, with slumber song
Twice as many garments, blowing on the line
Two cherubs in the wagon, soaking up sunshine
Work I do for twins, naturally comes double
But four arms to hug me, repay all my trouble.
~Author Unknown

Um … I should probably say something snarky and hilarious now, but … that was just … wow.

Hey, let’s do more of these, like, maybe one where not all of the questions from come from XXXXXX of San Diego, CA

(PS, XXXX’s really a great guy and I was just kidding)

Bye.

Games! Who needs video?

Video coming soon. I have one shot, just not edited. Sorry, we were away for the weekend for a Baby Shower at Amanda's Mother's house in York, PA. It was a great party and a great weekend, all of which I will tell about soon. But for now, please enjoy two little quizzes I made as party games for the shower. Answers are in white below the question, so highlight the blank space to read.

TWIN QUIZ

one point for each correct answer

What chewing gum used identical twins in their advertisements?

Doublemint

In the Harry Potter books, what are the first name of the Weasley Twins?
Fred and George
BONUS: Name another pair of twins from the Potter books
Padma and Pavarti Patil or Fabian and Gideon Prewett (unconfirmed if they were twins, but we think they were)

What sign of the Zodiac represents twins?
Gemini
BONUS: The name of this sign inspired a Saturday Night Live parody of Destiny's Child called _________________
Gemini's Twin

What two legendary twins founded Rome?
Romulus and Remus

Two Shakespearean comedies feature twins.  Name them
THE COMEDY OF ERRORS and TWELFTH NIGHT

In mythology, twins Castor and Pollux had a pair of sisters who were also twins who married a pair of brothers.  One married Menelaus, King of Sparta, and famously left him for another man.  The other married Agamemnon, King of Mycenae, and eventually murdered him.  Name these twin sisters.
Helen (of Troy) and Clytemnestra

What popular series of children's novels featured two sets of twins in one family, Bert and Nan and siblings Flossie and Freddie?
The Bobbsey Twins

They were born Esther Pauline Friedman and Pauline Esther Friedman, but we know these twins by what pen names?  (HINT: Both had long running newspaper columns)
"Ann Landers" and "Dear Abby"

What were the powers of the Wonder Twins from The Superfriends?
One could turn into any animal and one could turn into any form of water
BONUS: What were their names
Jayna (animals) and Zan (water)

Who played twins in the original The Parent Trap?
Haley Mills
BONUS: Who played the twins in the 1998 remake?
Lindsay Lohan

What former NFL star and current broadcaster has an identical twin (who also played in the NFL), and will soon become the father of twins?  (HINT: He's been in the news latelty because he's divorcing his 8-month pregnant wife to be with a much younger woman ... yeah, he's kind of a jerk)
Tiki Barber

Which of the following celebrities have a twin brother or sister?
Mario Andretti
Jose Canseco
Aaron Carter
Vin Diesel
Joseph Fiennes
Linda Hamilton
Ryan Howard
Scarlett Johansson
Ashton Kutcher
Alanis Morissette
Giovanni Ribisi
Isabella Rossellini
Kiefer Sutherland
Billy Dee Williams

They all do.





Which of these TV shows did NOT have a pair of twins as its central characters?
Beverly Hills 90210
The Patty Duke Show
Sister Sister
The Suite Life of Zach and Cody

The Patty Duke show featured "identical cousins" Patty and Cathy Lane

Match the names from Column A to their twins in Column B (sorry, you don't get last names in Column B, exept in one case, where the character's first name is unknown)

Column A
Luke Skywalker (Star Wars movies)
Austin Powers (Austin Powers movies)
Phoebe Buffay (Friends)
Patty Bouvier (The Simpsons)
Dot Flagstone (Hi and Lois comic strip)

Column B
Ursula
Ditto
Evil
Leia
Selma

Luke and Leia, Austin Powers and Dr. Evil, Phoebe and Ursula, Patty and Selma,  Dot and Ditto

JUST TAKE A GUESS!

Within five years, how old are the oldest living twins in Britan?
110

Within two inches, how tall are the tallest living twins?
7'6"

That was one game, here's the other one.

FILL IN THE BLANK
with a phrase including the word "baby" "babies" "twin" or "twins"

When baseball's Washington Senators moved to the Midwest, they became ____________
The Minnesota Twins

1964 hit by the Supremes ________________
"Baby Love"

Marty McFly was in the parking lot of the ______________________ when he traveled back in time to 1955 in Back to the Future
Twin Pines Mall (in 1955 he ran over one of the pines and when he returned to 1985 the mall had become the Lone Pine Mall)

In a popular early-90s TV series, Kyle MacLachlan was an FBI agent investigating the murder of Laura Palmer in _____________
Twin Peaks

In 1975, Boston Red rookie sensations Fred Lynn and Jim Rice were known as the ____________________
Gold Dust Twins

This song, a duet about a wintery night, has become a holiday standard _______________
"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Haitian dictator "Papa Doc" Duvalier was succeeded by his son who was known as ________________
"Baby Doc" Duvalier

Due to high birth rates, the years between 1946 and 1960 are known as the _______________
Baby Boom

Married couples in TV sitcoms of the 50s and 60s usually slept in ______________
Twin Beds

Stephen Sondheim song from the 1971 Broadway hit FOLLIES _________________
"Broadway Baby"

A double play in baseball is also known as a ______________________
Twin Killing

His porridge was "just right" __________________
Baby Bear

Twins with an alleged psychic bond are said to be ____________________ named after a Mediterranean island and characters in a novel by Alexandre Dumas
Corsican Twins

If an actor is playing two roles in a soap opera and the second character has a goatee or eyepatch, he is probably the first character's _______________
Evil Twin

1987 Diane Keaton comedy __________________
Baby Boom

So, yeah, a tricky quiz.  But, hey, people had to WORK for that Toblerone bar that we gave out as a prize.

So, how did you do?

The Name Game, Part 3

... is Other People